You know when you're on the beach as a kid and you stand right next to the water so that when a wave finally comes up it will run over your feet and you wait for that minute when you stand still and the wave goes back out again and it feels like your moving and all the sand slips out from under your toes. That's kind how life feels right now except without the giggling and excitement that it will happen again the next time a wave comes. It feels like I'm standing still and then all of a sudden everything comes at once and then gets pulled out from under me. I should be moving... moving forward that's what everyone else does but then once that feeling is gone I still realize that I'm in the exact same spot I was before.